#12 Oh Crisis Tree

Crisis comms are on my mind this week because the end of a year always seems to bring out one emergency. 

Think your holiday party got out of hand? It probably did! But one year at this time, our client killed a customer. (Their words; they approved this; courts found no wrongdoing.)

Crisis has risen indeed. We handle them often at Publera, but lately I've stopped calling those engagements “crisis comms.”  I just don't think the typical structure of fast-retainer + damage-control are actually that good for you. Or me.

(More on that in Section 2, FELIZ NOTGONNADOTHAT ANYMORE, with 5 rules for survival).  

Another reason is I'm not good at invoicing for useless stuff. 

Crisis comms are useless?? (Gasp!)

Not totally. But kinda? First, I’ll cut the holiday humor to say this: if you’re in a crisis, the sky is falling or fell, please feel free to call.  

When you do, we’ll talk it out. I want to settle your nerves enough to get your first night's rest. Because, if the crisis really is a crisis, you're going to need sleep. 

Which is exactly my point: every emergency is slower than you think.

What you've been distracted by is how suddenly it showed up! The solution will take time and patience.

If you've spent the first 24-hours of a crisis consumed by anxiety, you'll be in very poor shape for phase 1 decision-making.  

Even worse, experience says early anxiety makes you more likely to over-weight the issue in later phases, when it probably doesn't matter more than any other problem on your plate. 

How do I know? Because every crisis is unique when it's happening to you, but there’s really only a few types of bad stuff you can will have:

Death. From murder to (heart) murmurs, this happens. Fixing it? Timelines are long and resolutions are imperfect. But I promise it’ll work out.

Love. Husband, Wife, or Ex does something just totally bonkers. I’ve seen enough of these to fill a comic book and/or horror movie.

Money. Someone is stealing it. Or, you're running out of it, you measured it wrong, or gave a whole bunch to the wrong person. Whichever, it happens 10X more than you hear about.

Sex. #Metoo. Them too, here too, there too, everywhere too, and for some utterly insane reason it's all on video or Reddit. 

Crime. Your investor(s) did crimes, employee(s) did crimes, or your product became useful for crimes. The possibilities are endless, and the timing is never good whenever whoever gets caught.

OPL (other people's lawyers). So, someone who hates you has finally figured out the exact worst possible time and reason to sue you. Buckle up! And chin up! Parasites are resilient, but rarely immortal.

In every category, the problem shows up MUCH FASTER than it’s going to go away.  Patience and a clear head will be invaluable. 

Zen out. Take a walk. Eat a gummy if you want.

After 18 years of having this conversation in each category above, me and The Dude conclude your peaceful sleep is the most important thing you need.  

And I regret the years I spent making you sign an engagement letter to get it. Here's why:

The problem with crisis is context. Which is to say, everything except a crisis seems to have it.  

When we’re in reaction mode to a "bad thing," it's easy to miss the invisible gorilla, because we're overly focused on the thing. 

So I don’t do crisis comms agreements anymore (only regular old agreements for this guy; I also prefer plain Cheerios). I just don't enjoy working out of context. 

Nor is it helpful. Who cares if you do or don't want to see the context gorilla? He's there, and probably more dangerous than you think! (Remember Harambe? The lesson is a financial one that includes zoo ownership).  

Instead, almost 100% of the time, the strategy for your problem is going to be bigger than you think, or much, much smaller.  (You'd be surprised how often "do absolutely nothing" is the best course of action.) 

So call me for a chat off the ledge. And it’ll all buff out, I’m sure of that.

In the meantime, here are five rules you can survive by:

1. Who, or what, is the actual adversary? 

Is the problem a person, a company, or an idea? Absolute clarity on this matters. Each is a different strategy. This concept could be its own book, or 3 big chapters of a better one, but here's an oversimplification: people have fears, companies have complexity, and ideas have changeable ownership. Those are going to be your 3 weapons, respectively. 

2. You are the chief counsel now. 

Lawyers are essential. I respect them immensely, but in my experience almost 100% of them share a key weakness in chess: they lack fluency in (and/or tolerance of) persuasion outside legal channels.

Even in cases of fatalities and ongoing litigation, a strong understanding of game theory and stomach for managing your attorneys is vital. Keep good counsel and bring them in closely. But you carefully review their suggestions. The best attorneys are creative ones. An easy barometer is they can always adapt their advice if you've articulated a challenging nuance. Meanwhile, the red flag to scan for is counsel who can't or won't. 

A final admonition on this, since most people glaze over the idea of having to out-contemplate their best lawyer: consider the 3 weapons above (fear, complexity, narrative ownership) and how narrowly even a great attorney can use them. Your power is wider (and you’re beholden to others beyond a State Bar).

3. The platform where this started is not where it will be won (by you). 

Attacked on Twitter? You will not win until you move it somewhere else. This rule is generally true for courts, television, trade rags, and every other channel you can imagine. There are exceptions, but they are rare, and the rule exists because your instinct is the opposite.

4. Don’t punch, pull.

Aikido is a modern Japanese martial arts concept that includes using your opponent's energy against them. It’s my favorite analogy for good comms.

The idea is to redirect an opponent's attack in ways that create openings for you. (Tellingly, the founder of Aikido has described it as "overcoming yourself.") 

Whoever your antagonist, it is almost always simplest to arm them with a shovel–even if they whack you with it once or twice while digging their grave.

5. Do not tell your team. 

Stop. Don't. I'm serious. Tell as few people in your organization as possible. Bring in counsel, and call me or your mom if you have to. This will be very hard, and I’m already disappointed in you in advance. It's easy to imagine your best colleague keeping a secret, but here you are, not keeping it when you told them. 

Gossip is a powerful force we've had our whole evolution as a species. Elon Musk has (rightly) observed, "the most entertaining outcome is always the most likely." What makes better conversation behind your back: keeping your secrets, or repeating them?

If you can follow these five rules, you’ll be more than fine.

Lastly, look at what they all have in common. They all want you to wake up tomorrow, clear-headed and well-rested. And they’ll each help get to a solution. There is a solution, I promise, albeit weeks or months away. 

So you may as well enjoy your holiday right now. Please!

Whether you’re lighting a menorah tonight, a Christmas tree, or beachfront pyre in pagan homage, all I can say is God bless. I hope you get some time to relax and reflect. 

Your brother in crisis,
Jesse

PS: It's hard to tell if SEO is dead, but its glory days are. The forgotten backstory of names like The Points Guy or Tim Ferris is they rose from the blogosphere with tens-to-hundreds of millions of $$$ in traffic on very (stupidly) simple ideas.

How? 

The truth is everyone in SEO is just guessing. They have been the whole time!  No one actually knows the Google algorithm (except Google who says they're not saying), it's always changing, and over the last 20+ years of experimenting thousands of great businesses have emerged. From side hustles to major public corporations, they have grown into a $65B+ per-year cohort of nobodies. 

What does that remind me of right now? AI.

Successful SEO’s were all just early tinkerers. They were fiddling with the brains of a new machine that no one understood.  AI is that thing now. Times a hundred. So if you have this next week off or a little slow, I say experiment. Have fun. It is open season for tiny ideas to get big, and the winners will yet again be the curious. Justine Moore tweeted this document last weekend, and I really love it. Get weird!  

PSS: Writing a holiday email? Last year I posted this on LinkedIn around this time, and it snowballed into what would become the beginning of C-Something and this newsletter. I stand by it.

Getting accused of being AI is way worse for a leader than even being AI. 

So beep boop bop, my good bots! And if you need a quick hand on a nice human note, don't be a stranger. I’m here all week, gratis.

PSSS: The third S stands for send this to someone! Or share. Or SEXY, which is what you are when you share.